90% Of Irish Towns Not As Well Planned Out As Play Mat Everyone Had As A Kid

A WHOLESALE change in approach to Irish town planning by local authorities has been urged by all Irish adults who have a memory of their childhood play mat.

“Choked by traffic, random laneways to nowhere, bare and abandoned streets, a bench erected that directly faces a concrete wall, Irish planners have failed us but there is a way to make the future brighter,” confirmed a number of citizens mobilising to lobby for the implementation of the ‘play mat philosophy’.

This philosophy would see the colourfully drawn town that made up everyone’s play mat as a child be transposed onto new and existing Irish towns.

“The traffic flow management, which has multiple roundabouts unbothered by the needless addition of traffic lights, is to die for. None of this ‘two way’ traffic bullshit which is actually only passable by an anorexic broom handle, we’ll have wide boulevards, we demand it,” added one person singing a petition for the play mat to become central to Irish planning.

“As a kid when I was playing on that mat, I thought public green spaces where people can congregate without spending money were plentiful, boy was I wrong,” added another.

In response, one local council confirmed the best they could do was remove a local artist’s mural, reject planning permission for a house and confiscate a non-regulation flowerbed outside a cafe.

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