English Tabloids Pretty Sure They Can Pin Blame On Liverpool Fans

A NUMBER OF English tabloids are choosing their words carefully, ensuring they have plausible deniability as they lay the foundations for a blame game after yesterday’s horrific incident during Liverpool FC’s title parade which saw a man drive a car through a crowd of celebrating supporters.

“Make sure to say ‘a number of people were seen converging on car, possibly before incident’. We can’t be too obvious with it. We just plant the seeds that when it’s the city of Liverpool it’s their own fault, then it’s over to bot accounts on social media to play pied piper for gullible pricks on social media to then pin it on the fans,” explained one editor to his staff.

Acting on muscle memory editors have said they will disguise their more insidious attempts to shift blame onto Liverpudlians seen in videos striking the car with their hands by placing a number of ‘harrowing eye-witness’ articles on their sites and pages, offering them a transparent veil of faux concern.

“I know, I know, we could point out thousands of people were lining the streets during hours people usually work but we have to be patient with this, subtly is the name of the game, we need to learn from our mistakes,” added one editor, who said if he had to tell staff to feature as many pictures of ‘foreign’ Liverpool fans in stories then he has failed as a tabloid boss.

“The BBC have said ‘some fans ignored police instruction’, brilliant happy-fucking-Christmas everyone. Publish all that ‘as per the BBC’, quote it, make 87 different articles out of it. It could finally be open season again,” gleamed editors at several papers.

Meanwhile, editors of radio phone-in shows were desperately seeking the phone number of Kelvin MacKenzie when the time is right.