Rome Police Issue Counterfeit Communion Wafer Warning In Lead Up To Pope’s Funeral

AHEAD OF the funeral of Pope Francis in the Vatican on Saturday, Rome police have issued warnings to Catholics on potential counterfeit Communion wafers.

“Maybe a someone offers you the bread in queue for the seeing of the Pope’s body but it’s no good, no do it,” explained head of the Rome police’s fraud squad.

With millions of people expected to descend on Rome in the coming days, opportunists have taken to producing fraudulent wafers made from cardboard and sadness, and selling them at an increased price taking advantage of the swell in demand and scarcity.

“Having so many worshipers means some churches have to turn away people after they run out of wafers but with scam sacrament sellers you never know what you’re actually eating, so don’t risk it,” explained one priest.

“They’ll tell you it’s the body of Christ, but of the counterfeit stuff we’ve seized so far, analyses show the wafers are cut with talcum powder, rat poison, you name it and are actually the bodies of a number of lesser known saints,” explained a spokesperson for the Carabinieri.

UPDATE: 14 people have had to seek treatment in Rome hospitals after consuming wafers marked by an embossed upside down cross, with people experiencing demonic fits. Symptoms include speaking Latin backwards and their heads achieving 360 degree rotations.

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