Jose Mourinho To Avoid 10-Game Touchline Ban If He Returns Rival Manager’s Nose

THE TURKISH FA have told Fenerbaçhe manager Jose Mourinho he will receive no ban for his disgraceful behaviour during his side’s defeat to Galatasaray so long as he returns rival manager Okan Buruk’s nose.

Startling footage going viral in the football world showed Mourinho ripping Buruk’s nose from his face, resulting in Buruk falling to the floor in a fit of unquantifiable pain.

“Just give it back and we won’t implement a 10-game ban,” urged a Turkish FA official of Mourinho, who pocketed Buruk’s nose before exiting the pitch.

A sad spectacle that denies a noble sport its dignity and sets a bad example for the next generation, WWN Sport can confirm football fans would happily pay €100 a week to watch the Turkish cup and league if this level of shithousery is guaranteed to happen.

“He’s an animal, ban him for life,” said a doctor who spent 14 hours trying to save Buruk’s life after he collapsed to floor, losing upwards of 5 litres of blood when Mourinho merciless detached his nose. “Even if he gives the nose back and I can reattach it, his sense of smell will be so damaged he wouldn’t be able to sniff out when a manager is doing something outrageous to deflect from his side’s poor performance.

Mourinho, who has no history of ever partaking in such activities, fronted up to reporters after the match refusing to shy away from his role in managing his team to a disappointing loss against their rivals.

“Erdogan needs to go, I will run for President,” confirmed Mourinho.

We design & sell funny t-shirts, mugs, hoodies and more to help keep the lights on. Check them out here www.waterfordwhispers.shop