Taoiseach Says Opposition Is ‘Bullying Ceann Comhairle Just Because She’s Really Shit At Her Job’

“THE fact she couldn’t run a bath isn’t the point here, the point is just because she’s really shit at the job, doesn’t mean the opposition can just call it out like that and make us look like total buffoons for appointing her on Michael Lowry’s say-so,” Taoiseach Micheál Martin said, slamming opposition parties this morning ahead of an expected motion of no confidence in Ceann Comhairle Verona Murphy.

Chaotic scenes in the Dáil saw Murphy singled out for criticism with opposition parties accused of failing to show respect for the Chair as she quickly ushered through the Government’s speaking rights plans.

“No shit, Sherlock,” several opposition TDs replied, as Murphy failed once again to restore order, instead reduced to smiling and flailing her hands about in a half-hearted fashion as an atmosphere of disorder engulfed Ireland’s parliament, much to the embarrassment of the entire nation.

“They’ve literally done nothing since they’ve got back from their two month break after the elections and they’re still debating speaking rights?” one local man put when asked what he thought of the mess, “we’re almost a quarter way through the year and not a housing target met, waiting list reduced or an actual change in anything they said they’d change – can we control alt delete the last election results and get rid of these fucking donkeys, please?”

It is expected that all 174 TDs in the Dáil earning €115,953 per year plus an average worker’s wage in expenses are to spend their working day today arguing with one another while you listen to news outlining why there is an expectation of price hikes in everything.

We design & sell funny t-shirts, mugs, hoodies and more to help keep the lights on. Check them out here www.waterfordwhispers.shop