Journalist Shot Dead After Asking Why Putin Isn’t Wearing A Suit

SOURCES in Kursk have confirmed that a journalist has leaped to his death from an 8-story window before then shooting himself several times in the head in an apparent suicide just moments after asking why the Russian president wasn’t wearing a suit yesterday.

In his first visit to the Kursk region since Ukraine launched its shock counter-offensive in August, Mr Putin was holding a press conference dressed in military fatigues when the now deceased journalist made the remark.

“Obviously he realised what a stupid question he asked before then tragically taking his own life,” Kremlin officials stated, before apologising for a Russian tank accidentally running over the man’s body after he had already killed himself, “unfortunately one of our T-90 tanks was coincidentally patrolling the area and minced whatever remained of the journalist into a fine paste, but you can take it from us it was definitely a personal tragedy”.

Mr Putin’s visit coincides with upcoming peace talks with the West on a possible ceasefire deal with Ukraine and NATO forces, sparking fears he may lose the region in the deal if Russia doesn’t take it back in time.

“Yeah, I didn’t see Ukraine actually giving us a taste of our own medicine and invading some of our own territory, but I’m sure my agent Mr Orange will give us a fair deal,” Mr Putin told press, holding a VHS tape labelled ‘Golden Shower’ under his arm.

Help support what we do by buying yourself something nice in our shop. Mugs, t-shirts & hoodies available here: www.waterfordwhispers.shop