“I’ll Look Into It” Confirms Taoiseach As Trump Complains About Transgender Leprechauns

MASTERFULLY guiding conversation away from confrontation and acrimony as he sat down with American Taoiseach Donald Trump, Taoiseach Micheál Martin has placated the leader when it comes to his many grievances about Ireland, the EU and the world at large.

“You raise an excellent point, I’m always astounded by the acumen you display no matter the subject,” offered Martin, staring dumbfounded as Trump passionately complained about transgender leprechauns.

“You get to the end of the rainbow, and it’s a lepre-con ‘cus it’s a lepre-dude, speaking of cons, Russia, can you believe they said that about me? Putin’s best bud, it’s true of course, but can you believe they said it? Not for much longer, free speech for patriots only,” rambled Trump as Martin did his best to raise his eyebrows to indicate to the Republican leader his remarks were not certifiably insane.

Hoping the rapid clicking of photographer’s lens captured him looking as if he was in subservient awe, Martin reminded himself only a few more minutes and this will all be over.

“Salient point well made Mr. President,” Martin remarked, as Trump said Panama, Canada and Greenland were all part of the US.

“I can certainly see your unique and uniquely intelligent view that trade tariffs that look like they’ll cause a recession for American and beyond are a really great idea for the little guy,” further responded Martin, putting in the hard yards for the sake of Irish jobs.

“Well said,” added Martin as Trump said the real discriminated against minority was the billionaire class.

“Palestine? Never heard of it,” continued Martin, knocking it out of the park.

“Ah no, bollocks to that, he’s a dose and a half you orange gobshite” Martin said, finally breaking and responding to Trump’s story about a heroic Irish teacher Enoch Burke, who has bravely lingered outside school gates for two years while receiving full pay for a job he no longer does.

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