Burkes Even A Bit Too Weird For Christian Fundamentalist Republicans

MERE MINUTES after touching down in Washington DC, the notorious Burke family are already grating on the patience of their gracious hosts, WWN can exclusively reveal.

“I can’t take another minute, it just never stops with them. The screeching. And I say all this as someone who specifically moved to one of 37 US states in which child marriage is legal,” said one bat-shit insane Republican-voting Christian fundamentalist who is regretting welcoming the Burkes with open arms.

“I speak in tongues, make my daughters wear chastity belts and think the world is ending next week but even to me, they seem a bit ‘off’, y’know?” concurred another religiously delirious American.

Despite coming from a devout community made up of people who advocate for child rape victims to give birth to their attackers’ children, believe Jews control the world and that inter-racial marriage is a sin, even the most hardened of Christian nationalists are already sick of the visiting Irish clan.

“Like any decent white American Christian my heart soared when Elon did his little salute thingy, but if having control over American health and education policies means I’ve to listen to the Burkes drone on about the Irish judicial system one single minute more, then I sign up for eternal damnation in the fiery pits of hell instead,” one DC based dead-behind-the-eyes Evangelical shared.

“Oh my God I get it, shut up already,” urged one white nationalist ‘trad wife’ who despite spending 6 years on Twitter, posting daily about men in women’s bathrooms, couldn’t last more than five minutes of the Castlebar family’s prattling on about transgender people.

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