Meet The Men Microdosing Viagra To Keep A ‘Semi’ All Day
UNLOCKING the key to a more fulfilling existence, a group of Irish men have revealed why they think microdosing patented erectile dysfunction medicine Viagra is the best thing they’ve ever done.
“Being neither soft nor hard is the optimum state for a man seeking to seize the day and achieve things,” explained 59-year-old executive Dermot Lanning, who says he work productivity is through the roof.
“I use a cheese grater to sprinkle shards of a pill on my salad at lunch and my steak at dinner,” offered 41-year-old PT Cormac Cunningham, careful to never be anything other than half mast.
“I actually tried macrodosing first, but I don’t think I need to tell you having the blood all rush to one place in your body the whole day makes working hard. I fainted on the job, which isn’t ideal in my line of work” explained 42-year-old pilot Richard Costigan.
“The ‘why’ of it is sort missing the point, I do it simply because I love it and it feels good,” 70-year-old retiree Niall O’Seam shared.
“I have this irrational fear of being flaccid, and since I’m a grower not a shower, it’s nice to know if I was to be jocked on a hidden camera prank show – my greatest fear and recurring nightmare – I’d avoid people pointing and laughing at my mini rocket because with microdosing I’ve bought a one way ticket to Erectionville,” 35-year-old tech worker, Simon Dillane.
“It keeps me on edge and focused, I’m on this higher plane of awareness mainly due to the fact I’m afraid people will see my semi, but I can channel all that panic into working with great purpose. I am truly awake for the first time in my life,” 29-year-old bricklayer Dave Ryeley explained.
“Sure, it can have its drawbacks, for example, I can never walk passed a school for fear of it being misconstrued and I get arrested. But when I’m home with the wife it’s just nice to know that if she was to act completely out of character for the last 10 years of our marriage, and suddenly wanted to have sex, I’m pretty much ready to go,” offered 47-year-old full-time husband Stephen Ormund.
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