Musk & Putin Apply For Joint Custody Of Donald Trump

A WASHINGTON judge has praised the two people at the centre of a custody battle after they defied the stereotypical argumentative exchanges normally seen in his court, instead amicably agreeing to share joint-custody of an orphan, Donald Trump.

“What impressed me most about the mature approach of both you men is that you had been in regular phone contact with one another prior to November 2024, Donald here was always your priority and at the forefront of your minds,” judge Carlos Garcia told the court.

“I’m yet more impressed by this empathetic approach, as the person you seek to have in your care and control is at first glance, as cruel and unlovable as he is stupid and naive, but that’s kids for you, I suppose,” chuckled judge Garcia.

The judge praised one of the parties, Vladimir Putin for undertaking as many as seven calls to Donald Trump before November 2024, believed to be attempts at reassuring him he wouldn’t alone and he was loved.

“You could have bitterly argued over who was his favourite, but instead you both saw that your separate goals of stripping the last of the copper wiring out of US government departments, and convincing Donald Ukraine don’t need to be involved in talks to end the war in Ukraine could be achieved as part of this unconventional blended family,” added the judge.

Mindful that giving evidence at custody battles can be intimidating for children, never mind for dim-witted pawns who have no idea they are being used, the judge allowed Trump to take the stand while repeatedly drawing his signature on paper in big writing.

“My favourite thing to do with Elon and Vlad is when I get to tell them what to do,” Trump told a judge, who couldn’t help but smile at the impressionable tyke at the centre of the ruling.

We design & sell funny t-shirts, mugs, hoodies and more to help keep the lights on. Check them out here www.waterfordwhispers.shop