Assad To Be Given Tour Of Moscow’s Most Beautiful 10th Storey Windows
A REMARKABLE few days has seen the fall of Syrian tyrant Bashar Al-Assad, with reports placing him in the safe haven for a number of irredeemable bastard dictators, Moscow.
The deposed despot fled the country he and his family brutalised for over 50 years but those fearing Assad would be left to a life in penury and suffering will be left disappointed as evidenced by the warm welcome he has reportedly received from Vladimir Putin in Moscow.
“I know you would rather be back home killing and torturing, who wouldn’t, but in Moscow we have nice restaurants, the theatre, oh and you will not believe the beautiful windows we have. Hey, Alexander show Bashar our best windows,” enthused Putin before abruptly leaving his dictator friend to get back to concentrating on his three day special military operation in Ukraine.
Putin’s FSB has promised Assad that he will be given a detailed tour on all Moscow’s best high rise windows.
“You have Palladian window style in Syria yes? It is beautiful no? Me? I like two-panel slider window because once it slide over you can lock in place so no accidentally close while you trying to get view. Come look,” insisted Assad’s friendly and accommodating tour guide.
Assad’s guide, Alexander, then spent close to 45 minutes criticising universally adopted window safety features, with particular disdain for the jalousie window which only ever offered the window user a partial shuttered view of the steep drops below.
“With jalousie window, you no stand out on edge, feel breeze on face, hand at your back. It real shame,” added Alexander, before ushering Assad to the crown jewel of Russian windows which is known for its panoramic views and no overlooking apartment blocks or witnesses.
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