“That’s Bad Form Now” Kim Jong Un Urges South Korean President To Stand Down

“THAT’S bad form now, you wouldn’t see that kind of carry on up north,” North Korean leader Kim Jong Un began in a nationwide TV address calling out his South Korean counterpart who attempted to implement martial law yesterday in a bid to avoid impeachment.

Yoon Suk Yeol’s future is hanging in the balance after a chaotic night during which he dramatically declared martial law and then withdrew it just as suddenly when politicians gained access to parliament despite in being under armed guard, plunging the country into turmoil, and himself into the world’s spotlight.

“Now if that was me, hypothetically speaking of course, I would have slaughtered all those demonstrators first and there would have been none of this,” Kim Jong Un casually explained to his nation of 26 million people forced to watch his address or face death.

“This is exactly what happens when you’ve got a poor leader who can’t control his people – sure they may all have fancy things like food, a working economy, health care and really nice fried chicken, but what would you prefer, all those materialistic things or a great strong leader with dashing good looks?” Jung Un added, now fluttering his eyelashes at the camera as screams of ‘we love you’ could be heard from freezing cold crowds outside watching the public address.

Finishing his address, the North Korean leader went on to promise all the nation’s men a nice European holiday for all their hard work over the year.

“Since it’s Christmas, I’m giving away a free holiday to Eastern Europe for every North Korean man in the country. See how nice I am to you? You wouldn’t see Suk Yeol do that.”