Local Man Pretty Sure Wagner Shitshow All Part Of Putin’s Genius Plan
A MADCAP, moronic and embarrassing 24 hours in Russia saw Wagner mercenary group leader Yevgeny Prigozhin march troops toward Moscow only to cut a deal which saw him flee to Belarus, a spectacle which severely damaged Vladimir Putin’s standing and grip on power.
However, according to Waterford man and recent Googler of ‘who is Mr Wagner army guy?’ Cillian Brady, the chaotic shitshow proves one thing and one thing only; the continuing genius Putin possesses.
“He’s a sly one, he’s planned this all himself as a way to crack down on critics in Russia,” explained Brady, completely forgetting that not 5 hours ago he had been claiming it was the work of the CIA.
“No it is the work of the CIA but obviously Putin’s letting them do it, which is the true genius of it all if you ask me,” added Brady, who was not asked.
Brady went on to explain that while pea-brained western leaders are playing checkers, Putin is playing 4-d chess in addition to playing Monopoly, Mousetrap, Cards Against Humanity and Uno at the same time.
The 35-year-old software engineer conceded that while some could review the weekend’s events and conclude Putin is struggling to maintain his grip on a crumbling Russian society, that’s not his opinion.
“The true sign of having 100% control over your people who worship you completely is when you have to keep assassinating them or when a former hotdog seller leads a rebellion against your army chiefs,” concluded Brady, who also suggested the Russian leader masterminded secret payments to Ryan Tubridy as a distraction tactic.
Elsewhere, Prigozhin is expected to enjoy a long retirement in Belarus as long as he never eats or drinks anything, refrains from standing near an open window and sleeps with his eyes open.