Jobs Phillip Schofield Can Do Now

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“MY CAREER is over”… “What am I going to do with my days?”… just some of the excerpts from Phillip Schofield’s first emotional interview since the emotional interview he gave last week. But while Phillip may feel that he’s un-hireable after his ignominious exit from This Morning in the wake of allegations of an improper relationship with a younger co-worker, we disagree. There’s plenty of jobs he can do. Such as:

1) Senior executive in the private sector

Schofield is in his early 60s, intelligent, has a likeable personality and is an already wealthy white man. He could easily find a high-paying job as a senior manager or executive role in any number of companies in the private sector. He could throw a dart at the Financial Times and be hired in the morning by whatever company he hits. Don’t sign on the dole just yet, Phil!

2) Civil engineer

Maybe it’s time to up-skillip, Phillip? Schofield could go back to college and train to be an engineer, an architect, hell he could study to be a neurophysiologist if he wanted. However, the problem with this work, and indeed anything mentioned so far, is that it would require the former TV personality to remain as a former TV personality. Being a genetic scientist is good, solid work, but it’s not as rewarding as presenting The Cube and finding out if Sheila from Northampton can win 20 grand by throwing a tennis ball into a Pringles can from 10 feet away.

3) Work in Aldi

Mow lawns, clean windows, chew up bread for gummy hens – Phil can do any work he likes, anywhere, at anytime. Well, any work except being a famous TV personality. Sorry Phil, that’s what happens when you own-goal yourself out of the column marked ‘celeb’ and into the column marked ‘disgraced former celeb’.

If none of this appeals to Phil, he could always try and ‘wait out’ the scandal before attempting to weasel his way back to our screens. However he should be warned that this could take months, maybe even a full year of extensive PR work, particularly if he doesn’t want to go on I’m A Celebrity and tearfully express his sorrow between mouthfuls of spiders.

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