Eamon Ryan Tenderly Approaches Trucker Protest With Basket Of Vegan Sausage Rolls


MINISTER for Transport Eamon Ryan is currently cycling to the East Link bridge in Dublin where a convoy of truckers have ground traffic to a halt, in a bid to de-escalate the situation with a nice salad and a chat.

The organisers of today’s disruptions have specifically demanded that diesel be capped at €1.20 per litre and that Ryan himself be sacked from his post, something that the Green TD has laughed off as being ‘just banter between me and the lads’.

“The hauliers with their jokes! I’m sure I can talk them off this bridge by explaining how climate change will effect them going forward, while we share a nice vegan sausage roll and some homemade hummus,” beamed Ryan, looking around the East Link for somewhere he could set up a picnic table.

“I mean, they’re giving out that the rising cost of fuel is going to drive them out of business, and believe me when I say nobody wants to see these lorries off the road more than me. But right now, they’re being a bit of a nuisance for my voters across the East Link in Dublin Bay South, so I’ll be asking them to move. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll have to take matters into my own hands. I’ve brought a tow rope, I have my bicycle, don’t force me to drag your truck off this bridge lads, I’m warning you”.

Meanwhile the public has reacted in disgust to the protest, stating that they’re all for lorry drivers demonstrating as long as it takes place in France or somewhere like that.