Competition Time: We’re Giving Away First Place In The Queue For Penneys With Free Armour & War Paint

PENNEYS, the bargain hunters’ shopping paradise, will be open to all customers again on the 17th of May and it’s not going to be pretty.

With this in mind, one lucky WWN reader will get a chance to win the first place position in a queue at a Penneys branch of their choosing. But there’s more; WWN will also give the lucky winner war paint, chain mail armour and a taser which should make fighting over the last dress, shirt, or shoe in your size that bit easier.

The winner will also be given the use of an experienced getaway driver, ensuring they get home in one piece.

Worth as much as €10,000 on the black market, this is truly the hottest ticket in town. To be in with a chance of winning the prize of a lifetime-in-lockdown, just answer the following question:

What would you be willing to do for this place in the queue?

• Alright, who do you want me to murder? Just give me the name.
• I'd let the media interview me outside Penneys and treat me like a feral animal all because I'm just shopping for underwear.
• I'm happy to sign a contract which permanently enslaves me to Penneys, do you want my first born? Second born too?
• I'll send ya pictures of my feet if anyone in Penneys is into that stuff?

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Best of luck to everyone, winner announced soon.