Matt Damon Considering Adding Fada To Name


STRANDED Hollywood megastar Matt Damon is to become an honorary Irishman, with the Good Will Hunting star even thinking about changing his name to Mátt O’Dámón.

Damon had been in Ireland filming ‘The Last Duel’ with long-time friend and co-star Ben Affleck, when Covid-19 travel restrictions meant the Oscar-winning star was forced to stay in Dalkey for six weeks, where he has been the subject of several 24-page ‘Holy Shit it’s Matt Damon’ newspaper pull-outs.

To become a full honorary citizen, Damon will now have to undergo an examination to see how angry he gets when someone claims an Irish sportsperson is English, how many pints he can sink before he starts singing adding ‘IRA bits’ of Neil Diamond songs, and how often he rings his mam to see how she’s getting on.

“Despite what you might learn at Trinity, you can’t just go lobbing fadas into your name” said a spokesperson for the Irish.

“If he wants to be ‘O’Dámón’, he’ll have to earn it. We’ve got a written examination to see how much broken Irish he can mangle together to form a sentence, and we’ll have him watch an entire Oscars ceremony with his friends and co-workers receiving awards and see if he can make it to the end without congratulating any of them. Only then, will he be welcomed into the tribe”.

Meanwhile, there’s no word as to where Damon’s co-star Ben Affleck currently is, after he was last seen swimming west in the Atlantic ocean.