Covid-19 Wiped Out After 5G Masts Destroyed
THE Irish government has today lifted all lockdown measures taken over the past few weeks to flatten the curve following the total annihilation of Covid-19 after several 5G masts were damaged, wiping out the virus indefinitely, WWN has learned.
Hundreds of thousands of people took to the streets in celebration of the almost overnight destruction of the Coronavirus, calling on the geniuses who set fire to the masts to step forward.
Taoiseach Leo Varadkar announced a national week of celebration, allowing pubs to open 24/7 for the foreseeable future and implementing a Covid-19 bonus of €1,000 for every citizen over the age of 16.
“Free at last, free at last, Thank God almighty, we are free at last!” Mr. Varadkar addressed the nation in his own unique wordsmith way, as onlookers openly wept into their plastic pint glasses, singing ‘olé, olé, olé’ while licking each others faces in defiance.
Meanwhile,sScientists right across the world have apologised for overlooking 5G radio waves as the possible cause of the virus.
“We can’t understand it; 5G is a radio wave frequency that doesn’t affect the human body, but obviously we have no idea what we’re talking about and some YouTuber has found something that 140 years of researching didn’t. We are truly sorry,” the science community said in a published statement this morning.
Answering Ireland’s call, the self-confessed hero who set fire to the 5G masts eradicating Covid-19 from Ireland for good spoke to WWN earlier today through his YouTube channel 5G Donegal.
“I kept telling everyone 5G was a New World Order weapon funded by lizard king George Soros to mind control and kill old people made from Chemtrails but they wouldn’t believe me so I had to act,” 23-year-old Matt Daniels explained his reasoning, nervously picking at nodge burns in his 2008 Celtic Jersey, “I suppose I’m a bit like a modern day Saint Patrick now, banishing the virus an all that. Do I get a reward?”