​Children Get Their Intelligence From Their Father’s Mistress, Finds Study


ACCORDING to researchers, a father’s mistress determines how clever his children are and the mother makes no difference in how their children’s brain develops.

Mistresses are more likely to transmit intelligence to other women’s children because they are sexier and more charismatic than their married counterparts, rendering married women practically useless and lame.

In a groundbreaking new study carried out by the institute of studies, children are four times as likely to inherit their intelligence from their father’s mistress, making them more cunning, intelligent and desirable as human beings than children with faithful fathers who don’t have any mistress at all.

“Bottom line here is that being faithful is damaging your children’s chances of being smart,” lead researcher of the study Dr. Thomas Gant explains, “if you want your child to be clever, you better find yourself a good mistress with a bit of tact”.

Laboratory studies following the relationship between a male and female mice found that their babies were 4 times less likely to complete a simple maze task compared to a mouse couple whose male partner had a mistress mouse in another cage.

“We found that the baby mice belonging to the promiscuous male mice were significantly better at completing the maze than their loyal dad mice counterparts,” Dr. Gant added.

Interestingly, the female who physically gave birth to the mice seemed to be blissfully unaware of their partner’s activities, blatantly ignoring other mice smells and bite marks on the male mouse’s neck.

“For us as researchers, this really drove home the fact that the loyal female mice were stupid and should probably be cheated on for the greater good,” he concluded.