Merkel To Celebrate 4th Term With Fiscally Responsible Party


OPINION polls have given Angela Merkel a commanding lead ahead of September 24th elections with a boost to her reelection campaign coming in a strong debate performance against rival Martin Schulz.

The unbridled joy that will surely meet a 4th successful term in office has paved the way for Merkel and her Christian Democratic Union party to let their hair down and celebrate staving off a worrying rise in right wing politics in Germany.

“To be approaching 16 years in power, leading the country, it must be such a source of pride and honour for Angela which is why we’ll be pushing the party to as late as 10.30pm,” a spokesperson for the Chancellor told WWN.

“I know people will say we’ve lost our minds, but we have a clear budget for alcohol and finger food and we are going to spend every last euro on a party that doesn’t see anyone having an irresponsible amount of fun. Some people have suggested spending over the €150 we’ve allotted but that’s an imprudent financial risk,” the spokesperson added.

Europe’s steady hand, Merkel, is increasingly seen as the so-called leader of the free world in the wake of Donald Trump continuing to be himself, leading many to see the German leader’s reelection as something to greet with wild celebrations.

“We agree wholeheartedly,” explained Merkel’s spokesperson, “which is why we bought 3 party poppers. We will also play some happy pop music at a responsible volume so as not to irritate anyone within a 50 kilometre radius”.

Merkel for her part, has caused a stir after suggesting she may put aside as much as 7 minutes to enjoy her victory, failing to rule out smiling and experiencing a fleeting moment of joy.