Man Receiving Body Of Christ Reckons He Must Have Gotten The Arsehole

Facebook Share Share
Twitter Share
Flipboard Share
Reddit Share
SHARES

“YEAH… yeah, there was definitely something up with that communion” mused Sean Geherty, a devout catholic on his way home after Sunday mass last weekend.

Unable to pinpoint exactly what was wrong with his latest portion of the body of Christ, the Ballycahereen native could only state that it ‘tasted off’, with a strong sweaty-gritty-corny aftertaste that was unpleasant and not up to the usual Godly standard.

After much deliberation, Geherty has concluded that the piece of the body of Christ he received must have come from the butt or butt area, possibly colon, possibly anus itself.

“Seems my holy communion was hole-ier than usual,” said Geherty, rinsing his mouth out for the dozenth time.

“Look, I know there’s only so much of the man himself to go around every Sunday, but could they not employ some sort of quality control? I’m not asking for prime rib sirloin Christ, but surely they can do without distributing sub-quality eucharists? We’re paying customers over here, don’t just go serving us the taint of Christ”.

In a carefully written letter from heaven, the Lord stated that while care is taken when dividing up the body of Christ to ensure the highest possible standard of blessed sacrament, in times of high demand everything is included; eyes, offal, arse, the lot.

“Excuse us for trying to save your eternal soul from the fires of hell,” read the curtly written letter.

“But we don’t think a bit of sphincter every once in a while will do anyone any harm. If anything, it helps your immune system digest the good Christ the following week”.

ONE MORE THING: Like what WWN does and think Satire (known in Ireland as 'taking the piss') is worth supporting as we face the threat of legal action, the permanently offended and 'Big Tech'?

We're not arrogant enough to think we make the world a better place (that's the job of megalomaniacal dictators) but a small contribution of €5/$5 a month from readers can enable us to keep doing what we're doing, and what's more is we'll give exclusive bonus content and offers to our supporters.

WWN's least favourite phrase in the English language is 'they only love you when you're gone' so help keep us going if you can.

Signing up is easy and done HERE.
Comments ( 1 )
Share what you think.
Facebook Share Share
Twitter Share
Flipboard Share
Reddit Share