Local Woman Not Moving To EuroMillions Island Until It Has A Penneys


DESPITE the best efforts of a recent EuroMillions winner to transfer the very best of Irish life to an idyllic island with sandy beaches and scorching sun, one Waterford woman has refused to move there.

Orna Kilgallon, with an address in the Waterford area of Europe acknowledged the near never ending stream of nostalgic delights present on the island, but insisted she would only consider moving to the island when it has a Penneys.

“What use are good sandy beaches, clear oceans and tanned and toned GAA lads if you can’t buy 9 pairs of flip flops for a euro,” queried Miss Kilgallon, who has already admitted to knowing she may sound unfairly stubborn.

The island has already begun construction and broke ground on a number of projects, including the building of a replica of Croke Park, a 10-storey Michelin star crisp sandwich restaurant and a 12,000 seater cinema which plays The Snapper around the clock.

“Fair play to the lad for buying it, and I’ll be over in a heart beat if they build it. If I can’t get 14 bikinis for a tenner over there I’m not interested,” Kilgallon added.

Meanwhile, 70 additional flights are leaving Dublin airport every hour as interest in the island continues to grow with rumours the GAA will host this year’s All-Ireland final on the island in the 30 degree heat.