Good Weather Likely To Never End, Confirm Met Éireann


MET ÉIREANN has confirmed that the latest sunny spell to hit Ireland will likely last forever and bring continued joy to the Nation, WWN can confirm.

Using the latest in optimistic technology, meteorologists at Met Éireann refused to rule in the possibility that the scorching temperatures could give way to rain, wind and cold at any point in the near future.

“No, this is it now. That Sun, that heat, Ireland is set for, God, I’d imagine the next 5 years before we even have to worry about any drop off,” Richard Kelleher, head meteorologist at Met Éireann explained to WWN.

Kelleher denied that his optimistic projections had anything to do with the fact he is, along with his coworkers, being treated like kings by the public any time some decent weather descends upon the country.

“Well, yes, I’ve been patted on the back like I personally dragged the Sun here myself from Australia or wherever but no honestly, this weather is going to carry on forever and ever and ever,” Kelleher added while surrounded by a bevy of thankful and attractive women.

“Don’t fucking ruin this for me, I’ve got a very finite window of decent weather in which I can seal the deal here,” Kelleher then added in an aggressive manner under his breath.

Met Éireann staff also revealed they received a bumper bonus of €40 million for finally bringing the start of summer to Ireland.