Ireland Offers Its Condolences To UK Voters


IN a solemn gesture which speaks to the growing affinity Ireland has with its close neighbours in the UK, the Irish public have today offered their formal condolences to voters there after reading up on the UK’s leading political parties.

A modest bunch of flowers were sent to the UK public this morning, accompanied by a card which read ‘sorry for your loss’ as UK voters are faced with a choice between several prominent and unbearable pricks.

With the Irish public well used to coalition governments, many here have stared across the Irish sea before bowing their heads in quiet reflection, fully aware the road ahead for the UK is paved with tears and broken promises.

“You just feel helpless, watching on, knowing there is nothing you can do, but incoherent coalitions are a relatively new tragedy on UK shores. I just hope they appreciate the gesture, we feel their pain,” Dave Power, the self appointed spokesperson for Irish voters, told WWN outside the British embassy where a book of condolences has been opened.

UK voters are expected to know what unholy union will make up its government in the ensuing days and polling day itself has come after several weeks of fierce and at times petty campaigning.

In a last ditch attempt to sway core voters away from the clutches of UKIP, the Conservative party exhumed the corpse of Margaret Thatcher, sending it on a whistle stop tour of the country, pausing for several photo opportunities with David Cameron.

Security at 10 Downing Street was also beefed up this morning as many feared UKIP leader Nigel Farage would attempt to move in while everyone was distracted.