Motorists Urged To Drive Like Absolute Fucking Lunatics In Wet Road Conditions

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THE NATIONAL Road Safety Authority has urged motorists to drive like absolute fucking lunatics in wet road conditions today.

Gardai have also asked all road users to exercise extreme disregard for the weather and to drive as recklessly as humanly possible.

Chief Super Intendant Michael Murray told WWN that people should ignore all warnings and drive as fast as they can through the floods.

“If you are travelling under 120km an hour you are likely to get stuck in the flood.” he said. “The best thing to do is to make sure you are going fast enough to skim across the water like a large stone.”

Careful drivers caused problems for rush-hour commuters in many parts of Dublin earlier this morning. Motorists have been urged to ‘shunt’ slow moving drivers off the road and out of harms way.

“It is imperative these vehicles be taken out as quickly as possible to avoid further delays in traffic.” added Mr. Murray.

The RSA advised that no road was impassable due to flooding. It is down to the driver to grow a pair of balls and tackle the flood head-on and as fast as possible.

In Waterford motorists are being told to ‘man the fuck up’ and avoid turning back when they see a flood.

AA Roadwatch said motorists these days are turning into pussies and should be made wear ‘P’ plates if they refuse to challenge a flood.

“People have gone soft over the past twenty years.” the organisation said. “Making drivers wear P plates are probably the only solution to this problem. ”

“It’s only a sup of water lads.” they added.

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