Berlusconi Stands Down After Being Offered Virgin Island Retirement Home


ITALIAN Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi announced his decision today to stand down from leadership after striking a ‘Virgin Island Retirement home’ deal with parliament.

The 75-year-old will be flown to the Caribbean early next week where he will live out the rest of his days in the height of luxury.

Berlusconi told the countries president, Giorgio Napolitano, on yesterday evening he would resign once parliament had approved the €3.7 million retirement package.

Sources inside government said there was an emergency meeting called between parliamentary members on Monday.

One minister told WWN: “We had to come up with some way to get Silvio to voluntarily stand down from office. What do you get a man who has everything?

“Thirty three of us brainstormed through the night. Then at 3am someone asked the question: ‘What would the Muslims do?’

“Nearly everybody simultaneously said the word ‘virgins’. It was quite a moment. We then decided on the Virgin Islands retirement home idea.”

Mr. Berlusconi was offered the package late last night an signed off on the deal almost immediately.

The retirement home has 42 rooms and sits on 17 acres of land. It also has a large indoor 50 metre swimming pool, a “pool house,” 15 bathrooms, 20 bedrooms, a “media room,” 2 basketball courts (indoor and outdoor), a “strip club,” and a specially built ‘bunga bunga’ party room.

However, some of Berlusconi’s closest advisor’s have called the deal a ‘con job’ claiming the island’s name may have given the ageing politician false hope.

His successor Angelino Alfano said today: ‘I just hope Silvio is not expecting what I think he’s expecting, because he will be very dissapointed out there.’