Tag: weather

9 Drowned At Irish Barbecue

NINE people have died and four more are still missing, following a Dublin man’s attempts to have a nice summer barbecue in his back garden on what seemed to be a perfectly nice day. Derek Quigley had called home earlier yesterday to tell his wife Eileen ‘not to put on any dinner’, as he had… Read more »

Ireland To Be Left In Bowl Of Rice Overnight

IN an unprecedented meteorological experiment, the island of Ireland is to be submerged in a bowl filled with billions of tonnes of uncooked rice for 12 to 18 hours to see if it can be dried up a bit, WWN can exclusively confirm. The move comes as the country is buffeted by yet another series… Read more »

Weather To Remain Cold, But Not Cold-Cold

THE latest weather report from Met Éireann has confirmed the nation’s worst fears; that although the next couple of weeks will remain bitterly cold, it will not reach a point where we all get a free day off work again. Satellite imaging has shown that there does not appear to be a ‘Beast From The… Read more »

Galway Baby Born With Gills

EVOLUTION has taken another leap forward, with the announcement that a baby born to an Oranmore couple has been found to have a pair of gills, perfect for helping it survive in the almost 100% water atmosphere of the Galway region. Little Petey Henson baffled midwives and doctors following his birth after the discovery of… Read more »

Local Psycho Actually Likes Shite Weather

AN APPARENT psychopath has declared his fondness for shite and inclement weather, specifically the horrid unremitting bleakness associated with the depths of winter, WWN can reveal. Andy Colgan (33) has been eagerly anticipating the drop in temperature, the reduction in light in the evenings, the increase in the chill and rain since the end of… Read more »