Tag: sports


Tennis Match Interrupts Filming Of Kate Middleton

THE BBC has come under sustained criticism for frequently cutting from their live coverage of Kate Middleton simply existing to instead showing a meritless game of tennis between two random men. Viewers were left frustrated after the two men insisted on hitting a few balls around a tennis court for 4 hours and 57 minutes,… Read more »

Caster Semenya Sentenced To Death By Comments

FEMALE athlete Caster Semenya has lost her landmark case against the International Association Of Athletics Federation, and has been taken away to begin her long, slow execution at the hands of thousands of online commentators. The IAAF ruling, upheld by court of arbitration for Sport, deemed that Semenya’s testosterone levels beyond what was considered ‘valid to compete fairly’… Read more »

Grown Man Needs Neymar Jr. If Anyone Has Him

LOCAL adult Peter Wishan has posted a plea on his social media feeds this morning urging anyone with a spare Neymar Jr. Panini World Cup 2018 sticker to come forward, adding that he has ‘loads of doubles for swopsies’. Wishan, pushing 40, needs only the elusive Brazilian forward to complete his World Cup album, after… Read more »

Dublin Teenager Scoops Gold In ‘Skulling Smirnoff Ice’ Event

THERE’S great news today in the Irish camp at the 2018 PyeongChang Winter Olympics, after 17-year-old Dublin teenager Tiffany McDonald secured Ireland’s first gold medal of the tournament with a stunning victory in the ‘sinking bottles of Smirnoff Ice like they’re about to be banned’ event. Full-time student McDonald attributed her outstanding capacity for drinking… Read more »