Tag: sport

Dublin Teenager Scoops Gold In ‘Skulling Smirnoff Ice’ Event

THERE’S great news today in the Irish camp at the 2018 PyeongChang Winter Olympics, after 17-year-old Dublin teenager Tiffany McDonald secured Ireland’s first gold medal of the tournament with a stunning victory in the ‘sinking bottles of Smirnoff Ice like they’re about to be banned’ event. Full-time student McDonald attributed her outstanding capacity for drinking… Read more »

Sexton’s Drop Goal Uploaded To Pornhub

DUE to the fact its erotic content has a 100% success rate in inducing disturbing groans of pleasure, Jonathan Sexton’s last gasp drop goal against France has been uploaded successfully to online pornography site, Pornhub. While experts had previously believed it was impossible to be sexually attracted to and aroused by a piece of rugby,… Read more »

Disgusting! These Soccer Fans Pretended To Be Rugby Fans & Started A Brawl

INNOCENT rugby fans supporting two of Ireland’s premier fee-paying schools were attending a schools rugby match when brazen heavily-accented soccer fans infiltrated their group and began to hooliganise the situation, distraught rugby experts have confirmed. “Adult men supporting the schools attended by proper people with proper accents were minding their own business when out of… Read more »

Sanchez Goes On Strike During First Day At United

MANCHESTER UNITED’S new star forward Alexis Sanchez has gone on strike hours after securing his dream bank balance, WWN Sport can exclusively report. While United’s most vocal detractors questioned how wise it was to hand a 29-year-old player seemingly motivated solely by money a four-year contract reportedly worth £500,000 per week after tax, they expressed… Read more »

Mafia Distance Themselves From Comparisons To FIFA

THE MAFIA has been quick to distance themselves from comparisons to football’s governing body FIFA after it emerged two witnesses in a corruption case against former FIFA executives have turned up dead in recent days, WWN confirm. “Hey now, don’t drag our names into this, you’re making us look bad,” confirmed mafia spokesmademan Tony Palatino,… Read more »