Tag: soccer

Man City Stretch League Lead To 788 Points

FOLLOWING their 2-1 victory in the Manchester Derby, Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City side have stretched their lead at the top of the Premier League to an unprecedented 788 points. Defying the fact such an achievement is mathematically impossible, Guardiola’s men outclassed their city rivals after securing the transfer of Romelu Lukaku seconds before kick off…. Read more »

Mafia Distance Themselves From Comparisons To FIFA

THE MAFIA has been quick to distance themselves from comparisons to football’s governing body FIFA after it emerged two witnesses in a corruption case against former FIFA executives have turned up dead in recent days, WWN confirm. “Hey now, don’t drag our names into this, you’re making us look bad,” confirmed mafia spokesmademan Tony Palatino,… Read more »

Ireland Officially Gives Up Football

AFTER a dismal display at tonight’s World Cup qualifier in the Aviva stadium, the entire nation of Ireland has decided to call it a day and announce its retirement from international football, declaring its intention to ‘finally get its shit together and get on with its life’. Binning hundreds of thousands worth of merchandise, ranging… Read more »

WWN Previews Ireland V Denmark: The Sequel!

IRELAND have one foot in the World Cup after securing a thrilling edge of the seat 0-0 draw with a Denmark team that refused the free-flowing football Ireland is becoming synonymous with. Critics have confirmed there is every hope Ireland v Denmark at the Aviva can be the Godfather Part II of World Cup playoffs,… Read more »

Man Utd Sign Fabregas In Man Utd Fan’s Head

Gary Farrell, a lifelong Manchester United fan took affirmative action last night and signed Spanish international Cesc Fabregas while simultaneously drooling on his pillow while muttering ‘come, lie beside me Cesc. Now, through ball me’. While the news that transfer signings made by fans as they dream are not transferable to real life has proved… Read more »