THE LONGTIME operator of the Irish rugby bandwagon service has admitted to being relieved after learning he will have his first week off in over a year following last week’s demoralising loss to England in the 6 Nations, WWN has learned. “Usually I’m inundated with calls from people looking for a lift to the stadiums… Read more »
A NEWLY-produced report on the relevance of the game of rugby to Irish people has shown that ‘it’s just a load of old bollocks for sad bastards’, and has little or no merit in the grander scheme of things. The study was started on Saturday at around half past six, roughly around the time that England… Read more »
THE BIG TAKEAWAY from Joe Schmidt’s 6 Nations squad announcement is that there’s a place for Leinster’s uncapped prop Turlough O’Brien Kennedy O’Dowd Moriarty Shanahan Jr, or Turlough O’Brien Kennedy O’Dowd for short. A name not on many people’s radar 12 months ago, O’Brien Kennedy O’Dowd Moriarty Shanahan’s progress through the ranks was delayed somewhat… Read more »
FLIGHTS in and out of all Irish airports have been grounded indefinitely until such a time as the rugby loving portion of the Nation can convince Joe Schmidt to reverse his decision to leave his coaching post after the 2019 Rugby World Cup. The risk of Schmidt successfully boarding a flight at the end of… Read more »
A COMMON-as-fuck lower-middle class type who doesn’t live in an affluent area is for some reason under the impression that he has the right to enjoy this weekend’s rugby clash between Ireland and New Zealand as anyone else, WWN has learned. Derek Carron, 47, is looking forward to watching the match with his pals in a frightfully… Read more »
WITH the very real possibility Ireland’s rugby team could beat England in the 6 Nations on St. Patrick’s Day to win the Grand Slam, revelers have been warned to reevaluate and adjust their piss up plans accordingly if an Irish victory was to materialise. While leading experts in sessions and drinking to excess have made… Read more »
THE NATION broke out in wild celebration this weekend after France’s defeat of England confirmed Ireland’s 6 Nations Championship win. However, separate and concurrent celebrations took place as the Nation more heartily celebrated the fact England had not won the 6 Nations competition. “I’m not here to question what that says about me, or our… Read more »
DESPITE stating on several occasions that you really have to get back to doing some work, one coworker is still excitedly talking about Ireland’s thrilling victory against Wales in the 6 Nations as if he played a crucial part in it. Making wild and uncoordinated hand gestures in an effort to mimic various rugby skills,… Read more »
DUE to the fact its erotic content has a 100% success rate in inducing disturbing groans of pleasure, Jonathan Sexton’s last gasp drop goal against France has been uploaded successfully to online pornography site, Pornhub. While experts had previously believed it was impossible to be sexually attracted to and aroused by a piece of rugby,… Read more »
INNOCENT rugby fans supporting two of Ireland’s premier fee-paying schools were attending a schools rugby match when brazen heavily-accented soccer fans infiltrated their group and began to hooliganise the situation, distraught rugby experts have confirmed. “Adult men supporting the schools attended by proper people with proper accents were minding their own business when out of… Read more »