Tag: property

Do You Think You’re Homeless? Sorry, The Government Doesn’t Agree

THE GOVERNMENT has come out in force today to explain to many homeless people that they are not actually homeless at all, at least according to official Department of Housing figures. “There’s various ‘shades’ of homelessness, and some we frankly just don’t count as homeless so we’ve recategorised them,” explained the spokesperson. “Look all the… Read more »

Couple Just View Houses For The Craic Now

HAVING come to terms with the fact that their first step on the property ladder is still at least 60 years away, Dublin couple Sean and Breige Manlon currently pass their weekends going to view show-houses and properties just for the sheer hell of it. Although the Manlon family have spent the last three years earnestly… Read more »

Dublin Rents Hit New High After Dropping LSD

THE average price of rent in Dublin has soared again to a hallucinatory high, after it was revealed rents have been dropping LSD in a bid to escape the daily pressures of life. “It all makes sense now,” said one Dublin renter we spoke too, who was pleased to finally have an explanation for why… Read more »

New Home Queuing Touts Selling Space In Line For €5k

DESPERATE property buyers are being charged as much as €5,000 euros by queueing touts who have infiltrated a growing number of house hunters who are currently queuing outside a new West Dublin housing estate in the hope of securing a property. The first potential buyers formed a queue at the sales office at Beechwood Heath… Read more »