Tag: news

May To Install Direct Rule On Northern Ireland Once She Figures Out What That Means

BRITISH PRIME MINISTER Theresa May is set to confirm that after Stormont talks ended in failure, Northern Ireland will be placed under direct rule once May and her cabinet of ministers can figure out what that means. Drafting in the leading Conservative Party experts on Britain, the British government, British history, Northern Ireland and the… Read more »

Ireland Take Gold In Ice-Hurling At Winter Olympics!

THERE were wild celebrations in Ireland’s cities this morning, after its ice-hurling team won an unprecedented gold for the 10th Winter Olympics running, this time in South Korea. Ice-hurling remains the only event in the much storied games that is contested by one nation and one nation alone, however, Ireland’s ice-hurling coach Brian Cody praised… Read more »

Adult Culchie Still Pronouncing Medium ‘Meejum’

THE LATEST reports coming into WWN from Tipperary have revealed that one local woman regularly pronounces the word medium a hard ‘meejum’, despite having ears of her own. It is believed Tara Mulgerrit, an adult woman of about 35 years and 4 months, has an otherwise flawless command and understanding of the English language, yet… Read more »

Local Man Would Want To Be Getting The Ride After This

WATERFORD native Sean Merrington is expecting ‘big things’ in the bedroom department later on tonight, after shelling out almost €24.50 on the finest Valentine’s gifts available in his local 24hr garage for his wife Karen. Merrington, who describes himself as a thoughtful, considerate sex machine, made sure to pick up something very special for his… Read more »