Tag: news

Everything You Need To Know About Beto O’Rourke

THE TEXAS democrat narrowly lost to Ted Cruz in a race for the US Senate and has now announced his bid to secure the Democratic nomination for the 2020 presidential election. A father-of-three with a penchant for delivering uplifting and impassioned speeches drawing comparisons to Barack Obama, here’s everything you need to know about Beto… Read more »

Tinder Purchases Coppers Nightclub In Landmark Deal

THE DATING app Tinder has acted quickly following the news the owners of Coppers nightclub on Dublin’s Harcourt Street have put their landmark shifting venue and hotel up for sale. Echoing tech giant Facebook’s approach to rivals which saw them purchase WhatsApp and Instagram for vast sums of money, Tinder has spent big on securing… Read more »

Local Kids Won’t Shut Up About The Environment

ONE LOCAL Waterford father has put on record his annoyance at his children’s insistence that they be allowed partake in worldwide Climate Change protests, WWN can reveal. “Little pushy shits never shut up about the fucking environment,” confirmed John Legerty, who hasn’t been allowed put anything in a bin for years now without being asked… Read more »

“You Up?” Britain Drunk Texts The EU At 2am

SHORTLY after voting to extend the March 29th deadline for leaving the EU and cracking open a bottle of wine, Britain has texted the EU ‘you up?’ at 2am, WWN can reveal. While the EU had declared its New Years resolution was to cut toxic people from its life and never again let people who… Read more »

“14 Dead Bodies Insufficient Evidence,” Confirm British Government

AFTER learning that Northern Ireland’s Public Prosecution Service will prosecute just one of 16 British soldiers for their involvement in ‘Bloody Sunday’ in Derry in 1972, the British government has concurred with the PPS that the bodies of 14 civilians amounted to nothing more than insufficient evidence. ‘Soldier F’ will now face trial in connection… Read more »

Britain Shits In Hands & Claps

SOURCES close to the formerly Great Britain have intimated this may be the 17th time this week that the unhinged state has shat in its hands before willfully clapping as if in celebration only to spread excrement everywhere in the process. Those with knowledge on the repeated shitting in own hands and then applauding enthusiastically… Read more »