Tag: news

Couple Just View Houses For The Craic Now

HAVING come to terms with the fact that their first step on the property ladder is still at least 60 years away, Dublin couple Sean and Breige Manlon currently pass their weekends going to view show-houses and properties just for the sheer hell of it. Although the Manlon family have spent the last three years earnestly… Read more »

Local Man Doesn’t Get Sunburned (UPDATED)

WATERFORD man Derek Lenning has brushed aside pleas to put on some sunscreen while out in the heat, stating emphatically that he tans, not burns, and besides it doesn’t look all that sunny out. Acting under the impression that “you can’t get sunburned when you’re moving” and “you can only get sunburned in the middle… Read more »

Varadkar Just Fucking With DUP These Days

A PRESS release by Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has confirmed what many had already believed; that the Fine Gael leader is just ‘fucking around’ with Arlene Foster and the DUP at this stage, just to see the look on their faces change. The announcement comes following Varadkar’s decision to open this year’s Feile An Phobail festival,… Read more »

New Garda Uniform Bought From Middle Aisle In Aldi

THE PROPOSED new summer uniforms for An Garda Síochána, an unsuitable replacement for the currently unsuitable uniforms, were purchased for next to nothing in Aldi, WWN sources can confirm. The uniforms, which use cutting edge technology to make it look like someone in charge of updating outdated uniforms was keeping busy and is very important,… Read more »

Very Modern Ireland Loudly Tutting At Northern Ireland’s Abortion Laws

THE UK SUPREME Court’s rejection of an appeal from human rights campaigners over Northern Ireland’s abortion laws has given the Yes voting people of Ireland just the 4,567th opportunity to tut dismissively in the direction of Northern Ireland, decrying how it’s a shame it can’t be as astoundingly progressive as the Republic. Very modern, progressive,… Read more »