Tag: news

Homeless Lads Agree To Do 12 Kerbs Of Christmas

A PLUCKY group of rough-sleepers are getting ready for this year’s 12 Kerbs Of Christmas, their now-traditional attempt to sleep on twelve different doorsteps, kerbs, alleys and benches around Dublin city centre between the 1st of December and Christmas Day itself. “This’ll be the fourth year we’ve tried it” smiled Ciaran, the 36-year-old Dublin native… Read more »

Nation Urges FG & FF To Quit This Ross And Rachel Bullshit

HAVING endured nearly a century of ‘will-they, won’t-they’, the Irish public have come forward and pleaded with Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil to end this “Mulder & Scully, Sam & Diane, Ross & Rachel” shite and just get together, for once and for all. The urgent plea comes amid murmurings of another General Election, possibly before… Read more »

Family Going To Take Mother Up On Her ‘Don’t Get Me Anything For Christmas’ Bullshit This Year

FOLLOWING years of festive exasperation, one Waterford family is to call their mother’s bluff and get her nothing for Christmas, as per her request every year since records began. Maureen O’Lennon, matriarch of the Lennon family, has replied with ‘ach, don’t be getting me anything’ or ‘don’t go to any trouble, I’m grand’ every single… Read more »

Tánaiste Outlines Timeline Of When She Began Fearing For Her Job

SPEAKING IN the Dáil in order to respond to questions around her knowledge and possible part in former Commissioner Noirin O’Sullivan’s decision to instruct a legal team to question whistleblower Sergeant Maurice McCabe’s motives for wanting gardaí corruption to be stamped out, the Tánaiste Frances Fitzgerald provided an exhaustive timeline of what she knew and… Read more »

Stick Black Friday Up Your Hole, Retailers Told

IRISH RETAILERS have politely been told by the bargain hunting portion of the population to stick Black Friday, an American retail sales event, up their holes, WWN can confirm. Despite outrageously good offers to be had in stores, such as that kettle that was €60 now reduced to €59.99, the Irish public has confirmed once… Read more »