Tag: news

How To Draw The Perfect Penis On Your Ballot Paper

As part of WWN’s extensive coverage of the 2016 general we are addressing the issue of spoiling your vote. Many disgruntled and disillusioned voters will choose to arrive at a polling station today only to spoil their vote. Political commentators see it as a controversial step to take, sighting the act as a slight on… Read more »

Good News As Dublin Drugs Firm Creates 20 Jobs

WELCOME news on the jobs front as a drugs firm is expanding its operations in the Nation’s capital. The firm’s expansion is a response to the growing demand for a number of its products which has led to the creation of 20 positions in the sales department as well as transport and logistics. “We had a… Read more »

Shops Increase Umbrella Prices By 400%

RETAILERS up and down the country have come in for criticism following their decision to up the prices of umbrellas by a whopping 400% as of this morning. With many parts of the country battered expected to be drenched by torrential rains, the struggling retail sector has sought to capitalise on the public’s need for… Read more »

The Day Ireland Lost Its Innocence

In a sense Ireland’s innocence may well have long since left us but no lurid scandal can hit as hard as when a national treasure mistakenly swears live on air and subsequently apologises for it. Some say we’ll never get over it, others woke up and simply told their bosses ‘not today lad, not today’…. Read more »

America Officially Renames The Middle East ‘Problemistan’

Following the latest upheaval in northern Iraq, a decision to rename the Middle East region was reached by the Obama administration late last night. Some 11 years after America’s invasion of Iraq and 13 years after the war in Afghanistan began, the Middle East still provides a rather large headache for the ‘leader of the… Read more »

America Running Out Of Schools To Have Shootings In

The latest tragedy involving children, death, and firearms is the 75th shooting related incident to occur at a school inside of 18 months, prompting the NRA to warn of major problems for American society if stern action is not taken. “To put it bluntly we’re running of out schools to have these shootings in, at… Read more »

Government To Return Medical Cards In Exchange For Votes

The HSE will now review the process which saw discretionary medical cards revoked from a number of patients with serious illnesses but many have accused the Government of engaging in a cynical political ploy. A Government insider revealed that the updated process may well involve seriously ill citizens give the majority coalition partner, Fine Gael,… Read more »