Tag: news

Virgin Mary To Sue God Over Unpaid Child Support

THE religious community has been shocked by the news that Mary, mother to Jesus Christ, is to take God to court over unpaid child maintenance payments dating back thousands of years. Described as an ‘absentee father’ in court documents seen by WWN, the deity could be in line to pay child support costs running into… Read more »

Couple Purchase Dog As Dry Run For Parenthood

A LOCAL WATERFORD couple have taken the mature step of placing a 6-week-old French Bulldog in their care in a bid to gauge if they will be one day able to look after a human child, WWN can reveal. Although Richie Plunkett and Orna O’Brien have not expressed the importance the new puppy Baxter will… Read more »

Trump Medical Exam Confirms His 10″ Penis

THE doctor who performed President Donald Trump’s latest medical examination has been called back to the stand, completely of his own free will, to add some remarks about the impressive size of POTUS’s penis. White House doctor Ronny Jackson, who yesterday confirmed that Trump is as tall and as beefy as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, called… Read more »

Missile Alert Lads Just Having The Craic

BALLISTIC missile early warning teams have admitted that recent ‘red alert’ warnings in Hawaii and Japan were conducted ‘for the lols’, adding that citizens ‘should have seen the looks on their faces’ as they frantically attempted to find shelter or contact their loved ones. Both Hawaii and Japan were subjected to alerts about incoming North… Read more »

Guide To Being A Right Nosy Bitch

FEEL like you aren’t taking an unnaturally invasive interest in the affairs of your family, friends, coworkers, neighbours or vague acquaintances but would like to in the future? Do you need help in nosing around in other people’s business, so you can share your speculations on their lives with your nearest and dearest? Do you… Read more »