Tag: mufc

Non-Man United Fans Inconsolable After Mourinho Sacking

SCENES of eyes red raw from sobbing have been reported around Premier League grounds which are not Old Trafford as non-Manchester United football fans come to terms with the most entertaining episode in soccer schadenfreude came to an end with the sacking of Jose Mourinho. “Taken too soon, I hadn’t even properly got all my… Read more »

Marouane Fellaini Donates Hair To 10,000 Bald Men

STAR of Manchester United’s late win against Youngs Boys of Switzerland Marouane Fellaini has been sporting a new look in recent days and WWN can reveal for the first time that the good deed the Belgian midfielder/last minute panic striker carried out when shearing his trademark afro. “They told me not to do it, they… Read more »

Happiness Directly Linked To Whether Group Of Millionaires Beat Other Millionaires

RESEARCH coming into WWN Sport this morning confirms there is overwhelming evidence that a growing number of people’s happiness is directly linked to whether or not one group of millionaires can triumph over a number of near indecipherable groups of millionaires. The millionaire’d groups, largely hailing from a variety of nations but located in a… Read more »

Mourinho To Practice Latest Meltdown In Front Of Mirror

NOTING the ever dwindling impact of his attempts to place the blame on others for his own failings as a manager, Jose Mourinho will practice his next meltdown/rant/lambasting of a 16-year-old youth team player in front of the mirror. Spending much of the summer’s pre-season before the start of the Premier League giving out about… Read more »

Sanchez Goes On Strike During First Day At United

MANCHESTER UNITED’S new star forward Alexis Sanchez has gone on strike hours after securing his dream bank balance, WWN Sport can exclusively report. While United’s most vocal detractors questioned how wise it was to hand a 29-year-old player seemingly motivated solely by money a four-year contract reportedly worth £500,000 per week after tax, they expressed… Read more »

Man City Stretch League Lead To 788 Points

FOLLOWING their 2-1 victory in the Manchester Derby, Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City side have stretched their lead at the top of the Premier League to an unprecedented 788 points. Defying the fact such an achievement is mathematically impossible, Guardiola’s men outclassed their city rivals after securing the transfer of Romelu Lukaku seconds before kick off…. Read more »

Moyes Refusing To Come Out Of His Room Ahead Of Olympiakos Game

The embattled Manchester United manager has barricaded himself in his room, refusing to come out. As kick-off for Man United’s crunch clash against Greek side Olympiakos draws ever nearer WWN can exclusively reveal the club’s executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward has been unable to gain access to the manager’s bedroom. “I’m not coming out and you… Read more »