Tag: maga

Mueller Report Redacted Using Crayon

THE IMPENDING publication, by the US Department of Justice, of a redacted version of the Mueller Report has been welcomed by some Democrats, while others have expressed their concern over what exactly is being presented to the American people. “An advanced copy has been made available to me by the president, but my suspicions of… Read more »

Trump Secures Funding For US-Mexico Hedge

US President Donald Trump has finally secured funding for his long-promised border hedge with Mexico, after securing almost $1.4bn from congress. The agreement is set to avert a further shuttering of government services, following a month on shutdown at the start of the year as both sides of the house stood their ground on the… Read more »

Work Begins On Adding Trump To Mount Rushmore

A TEAM of 97 expert sculptors with over 2,500 years of experience have begun carving the fifth and arguably most controversial figure into the Black Hill mountains of South Dakota, WWN can exclusively reveal. Many critics stated the government shutdown could halt the face of US President Donald Trump joining the faces of presidents Lincoln,… Read more »

Prototype For New American Flag Unveiled

THE WHITE HOUSE has, on this the day of America’s 242nd year of independence, unveiled a new updated flag which better reflects the nation in its present form, signalling the aspirations it has for its ever bright future. “Nobody likes change, but we remind people the old flag didn’t always have 50 stars on it,… Read more »

Trump Note Includes Instructions To Not Grab Any Pussies

CLOSER inspection of a note spotted in the hands of President Donald Trump at a discussion about the Parkland school shooting has revealed a number of notes and guidelines seemingly written by POTUS himself, including ‘don’t mention grabbing pussies’, ‘try steer things back to the stock market’, and ‘blame violence on Schwartchennegger [sic] movies’. As he… Read more »

Guns To Phase Out Americans By 2050

A DISTURBING REPORT issued by the International Centre For Research (ICFR) has estimated that guns are on course to phase out Americans by 2050, WWN has learned. With the number of people suffering horrific and violent gun deaths in America exceeding 33,000 per year, it is believed when this harrowing statistic is combined with an… Read more »