Tag: liverpool

Mo Salah Ascends To Heaven

LIVERPOOL and Egyptian forward Mo Salah ascended to Heaven/Jannah directly after being substituted last night, with God deeming him too precious an example of celestial perfection to risk keeping down on Earth any longer. A thunderous sound pulsed through Anfield following Salah’s 2 goals and 2 assists with a shaft of immense light striking down… Read more »

‘Don’t Approach Any Liverpool Fans Today’ Warning Issued

“LEAVE ALL WhatsApp groups containing Liverpool fans. Block every Liverpool fan on your contact list. Arrive at work wearing sound proof earmuffs. Do not make eye contact with coworkers wearing full kits to work. We repeat do not approach Liverpool fans.” Blaring from hidden speaker systems in communities up and down Britain and throughout Europe,… Read more »

Chelsea’s Under-12s To Face Liverpool Claims Mourinho

Jose Mourinho delivered some surprising team news to the awaiting media as he arrived at Anfield for Chelsea’s crunch match against league leaders Liverpool. “No, no. It’s no mind game. Simply, I cannot risk for the Champions League so I’ll play my under 12s. They have so much potential, so it’s okay,” explained Mourinho. The… Read more »