Tag: ireland

Local Woman Masturbates To Thought Of Penneys Homeware Range

A LOCAL DUBLIN woman’s predilection for hot and steamy thoughts about affordable and stylish homeware which would really transform her apartment and give the place a distinct personality and style, has admitted to vigorously masturbating to the Penneys homeware range when the mood strikes. “For some people it’s Chris Hemsworth’s abs, for others it’s Cillian… Read more »

Handshake Accidentally Turns Into Awkward Hug Thingy

A SERIES of unfortunate events, marked out by two people’s inability to observe social cues correctly, has resulted in a horrific instance of a handshake transforming into a poorly orchestrated half hug, leaving every one involved visibly embarrassed. Casual acquaintances Cormac Tilley and Declan O’Neill, who know each other because their girlfriends are friends, happened… Read more »

Local Man Always Looks Fucking Knackered

ACCORDING to reports emanating from the Galway area of Ireland, one local man always look completely and uttered knackered WWN has learned. Without fail and without exception, Gerard Kinsella, an IT specialist from Salthill always looks on the verge of some sort of epic breakdown brought on by exhaustion despite the fact that he is… Read more »

Dr Taoiseach To Give A&E A Dig Out Over Winter

MAKING a complete u-turn on earlier comments that all hospital workers, including consultants, nurses and back-up staff must work “at full whack” over the Christmas holidays, doctor-turned-Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has canceled his lengthy seasonal holidays from the Dáil and vowed to ‘scrub in’ alongside the overworked, under-resourced staff of Irish hospitals. “Leo always has his… Read more »