Tag: ireland

Adults Book Holidays As Annual Leaving Cert Weather Approaches

Following on from confirmation by Met Eireann earlier today that Ireland has entered its official ‘Leaving Cert Weather’ period thousands of adults are booking getaways and days off to coincide with the guaranteed good weather. “There is no logical answer to it but regardless of the larger meteorological circumstances, each year Ireland experiences fantastic weather… Read more »

Ireland Win GAA World Championship For 73rd Year In A Row

THE GAA are today celebrating yet another World Championship win as Ireland romped home against the Democratic Republic of Congo, beating out their opponents by 64 points. “I don’t think the lads knew they were here to play football at all to be honest,” suggested Ireland captain Michael Murphy. The margin of victory was far… Read more »

Republican Band Write Over 400 Ballads About Gerry Adams

REPUBLICAN ska-band ‘Feeling IRA Man’ have made a touching tribute to interned Sinn Féin fabulist Gerry Adams by writing 400 individual ballads about his wrongful imprisonment at the hands of the PSNI. Lead singer and writer with the band Martin O’Dowd admitted to crying several times while writing touching tributes such as ‘What Would Gerry… Read more »

Racist Clarkson Admits He’s Never Eaten A Banana

FURTHER shocking revelations have emerged relating to scientifically proven racist man Jeremy Clarkson. The Top Gear presenter had been on the receiving end of well deserved criticism following his mumbling of a well known variant on a popular nursery rhyme. “His diction was deplorable,” offered media expert Henry Clulisse, “I could barely make out the… Read more »

Molly Malone Statue Forced To Emigrate

The latest victim of the post-Celtic Tiger sting in the tail is sadly one of Ireland’s most beloved landmarks and hearty slappers, sweet Molly Malone. “This is indicative of the kind of damage the government’s current jobs policy results in,” shared a politician whose name we didn’t bother writing down. While the fishmonger profession, along… Read more »

Parents Hold Secret Ballot On Which Child They Prefer

The Higgins household had been the scene of ferocious campaigning in recent weeks as rumours of a secret ballot being held reached the children of the family Emily and Josh. Parents Patrick and Nuala had planned to carry out a secret ballot for some time in order to decide once and for all who was… Read more »