Tag: ireland

BREAKING: Ireland To Burst Into Flames Any Minute Now

THE SOARING temperatures occurring as the country descends into a sweaty mess will result in the entirety of Ireland bursting into flames any minute now, weather experts have warned. The country of Ireland, which comes with instructions to ‘store in a cool, dry place and never putting in direct sunlight’ is perilously close to exceeding… Read more »

Man Hay Fever: The Facts

A DEADLY new strain of hay fever is currently gripping the male population of Ireland, with symptoms that are said to be exponentially more severe than the regular variant of the pollen intolerance. With women said to be largely unaffected, the strain dubbed ‘Man Hay Fever’ is said to be almost as lethal as other… Read more »

Dublin Win Leinster Championzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

THE DUBLIN GAA team have clinched the Leinster Senior Football Championship title for the eighth year in a row, after a decisive victory over Laois at Croke Park yeste rda y at Crokk park wher decisive victory Leinster… Sorry, just dozed off there for a second. Apologies. Dublin cruised to victory over Laois with a… Read more »

WWN Guide To Sleeping In That Heat

AS Ireland’s biannual heatwave continues to bathe the country in temperatures of up to 30 degrees celsius, the Nation once again finds itself confronted with with the seemingly solutionless problem of heat-based insomnia. Given that the majority of Irish housing units are built with the sole purpose of keeping out driving rain for 364 days… Read more »

Heartbroken Man Didn’t Meet Anyone He Knows At Airport

CRESTFALLEN Waterford man Cathal Keys boarded his flight to Germany this morning while weeping openly, after navigating his way through Dublin airport for the first time without bumping into someone he knew. Traditionally, a trip to the airport for the Tramore native isn’t complete without at least one interaction with someone he knows, usually consisting… Read more »