Tag: ireland

Americans Burn Down Hotel Earmarked For Irish Immigrants

EXPLAINING that the infestation of America by an estimated 50,000 illegal Irish immigrants can’t go on any longer, local Bostonians took the unprecedented step of burning down a hotel earmarked for immigrants. “They keep to themselves, don’t mix well, commit crimes, and don’t accept the American way of life. Calling them migrants is fucking generous… Read more »

Government Pass ‘One Law For Them’ Law

THE Irish government has passed a new pay scale sentencing law in the Dáil today which will see higher earners face more lenient sentencing for crimes such as sexual assault, white collar crime and tax evasion, WWN can confirm. The new ‘One Law for Them’ bill was quickly passed without any opposition in proceedings early this… Read more »

‘We’re Financially Ready For Brexit’, Insist Team Behind Children’s Hospital

FROM the crack team of politicians that brought you the €1.1 billion and counting overspend on the National Children’s Hospital comes the solemn and believable promise that in the event of a Hard Brexit, Ireland will be ready for anything, and in the most financially prudent way possible. Tánaiste and Minister for Foreign Affairs Simon… Read more »

Rooskey Hotel Applies For Asylum

A HOTEL at the centre of a direct provision row has today approached the Department of Foreign Affairs in a bid to seek asylum from Rooskey, claiming it fears for its life and has to flee the embattled village. The Shannon Key West Hotel made the application early this morning following two separate arson attacks on the… Read more »

Protesters Gather Outside Home Of Protesters

THERE has been widespread condemnation this morning after tense scenes in Dublin overnight, where a group of protesters held demonstrations outside the homes of a group of protesters who held demonstrations outside the home of several TDs, WWN can confirm. Working under the hashtag ‘Bring it to the doors of the bring it to their… Read more »

Total Arsehole In Bar Asks For ‘The Usual’

KNOWN locally as a total fucking dose, Waterford man Derek Whilan has yet again entered the pub which he goes to once every three or four weeks and loudly asked the barman for ‘his usual’, leading to an awkward stand-off and the eventual ordering of ‘a pint of Guinness please’. Whilan, who thinks he’s gas,… Read more »

337 Unaccompanied Learner Drivers Seized By Gardaí

THE ROLLING out a new Department of Transport initiative spearheaded by Minister Shane Ross has seen 337 learner drivers driving without an unaccompanied driver seized by gardaí. Previously the cars of unaccompanied drivers were seized but this escalation in learner driving crackdowns will see 337 learner drivers seized and driven to an impound garage on… Read more »