Tag: ireland

McGregor To Change Name From ‘Notorious’ To ‘Ridiculous’

THE merchandising department of the UFC is today working hard to remove the title ‘Notorious’ from all t-shirts, posters and souvenirs relating to Conor McGregor, after a bizarre series of events in which the acclaimed fighter brought the sport into more disrepute than usual. British star McGregor, known for his colourful outbursts and uncanny ability… Read more »

Dad Assures Kids That Mr. Horsey Is Just Asleep

LOCAL man Ian Ferrell has spent the morning convincing his little boy that the dead horse lying on the green across from their house is in fact sleeping because ‘he’s very, very tired’. Ferrell was woken this morning by his son, who had taken a shine to the horse which was being kept in a field… Read more »

Ireland To Test New Small-Talk Vaccination

IRELAND is to be the testing ground for a revolutionary new vaccine which medical experts are confident will eradicate small-talk from everyday life, easing millions of people from the everyday burden of chit-chat. Although thought to have been wiped out elsewhere in the world by the advent of smart phones, small-talk has managed to stay alive… Read more »

Local Man Glad He’s Not A Local Woman

LOCAL man Kevin O’Cunratty took a moment yesterday to pause and look around at the world he lives in, before thanking whatever God it was that put him on this earth for nudging his dad’s Y-chromosome sperm into the lead at the point of his conception 27 years ago, sparing him from spending his life as a woman…. Read more »