Tag: ireland

Ballybrack FC To Save Face By Having Fernando Killed

FERNANDO Lafuente Saiz has been placed in protective custody amid fears that the management of Ballybrack FC may attempt to repair their tattered reputation by bumping him off, after fraudulently claiming that the young man was dead earlier this week. The bizarre story of how Ballybrack FC avoided a match against Arklow by claiming that… Read more »

Shocking 5 Out Of Every 5 Irish People Living Abroad Are Migrants

A SHOCKING new survey on Irish citizens living abroad has found that a staggering 5 out of every 5 of them are classed as ‘migrants’, sparking confusion among the anti-migrant community here at home. Furthermore, the survey also found the overwhelming majority of Irish migrants living abroad were Caucasian, and much like foreign migrants living in Ireland, had similar reasons… Read more »

McGregor Definitely Learns Lesson This Time

LEGAL, MORAL and sporting experts have gathered together, unified in the opinion that UFC fighter Conor McGregor has definitely learned his lesson this time after his latest brush with the law. Staking their reputations on the matter, the experts said it was ludicrous to suggest McGregor’s name would appear in the papers in the future… Read more »

Hurling Thinks It’s Great Now

HURLING AND CAMOGIE have been formally added to UNESCO’s list of protected cultural activities, an act which has seen the sport, among the oldest in world, think it’s just great now altogether. The chest-beating levels of patriotism the sport often elicits on All Ireland final day is set to quadruple now off the back of… Read more »

Liffey Dolphin Glassed Passing Temple Bar

A DOLPHIN which had been spotted swimming up and down the Liffey river earlier today has been admitted to A&E after falling foul of an altercation as it passed underneath the Ha’penny Bridge, beside the city’s popular Temple Bar area. News of the stray cetacea spread on social media this morning, before becoming the number… Read more »

5 Ways To Reduce Stress

HAS there ever been a generation more afflicted by such high stress levels than this current one? Trying to strike that work/life balance, paying bills, keeping a roof over your head – it can take all your energy sometimes to just keep on keeping on, suppressing that stress until you’re old enough to die of… Read more »

Pat Kenny Announced As New Head Of An Bord Pleanála

“WE are delighted to announce someone taking over the role who has a 100% record in winning planning disputes, knocking back other people’s permission applications – that’s kind of what we live for,” confirmed a spokesperson for An Bord Pleanála after he announced their intention to appoint broadcaster Pat Kenny to chair of the planning… Read more »