Tag: ireland

Republican Band Write Over 400 Ballads About Gerry Adams

REPUBLICAN ska-band ‘Feeling IRA Man’ have made a touching tribute to interned Sinn Féin fabulist Gerry Adams by writing 400 individual ballads about his wrongful imprisonment at the hands of the PSNI. Lead singer and writer with the band Martin O’Dowd admitted to crying several times while writing touching tributes such as ‘What Would Gerry… Read more »

Racist Clarkson Admits He’s Never Eaten A Banana

FURTHER shocking revelations have emerged relating to scientifically proven racist man Jeremy Clarkson. The Top Gear presenter had been on the receiving end of well deserved criticism following his mumbling of a well known variant on a popular nursery rhyme. “His diction was deplorable,” offered media expert Henry Clulisse, “I could barely make out the… Read more »

Molly Malone Statue Forced To Emigrate

The latest victim of the post-Celtic Tiger sting in the tail is sadly one of Ireland’s most beloved landmarks and hearty slappers, sweet Molly Malone. “This is indicative of the kind of damage the government’s current jobs policy results in,” shared a politician whose name we didn’t bother writing down. While the fishmonger profession, along… Read more »

Parents Hold Secret Ballot On Which Child They Prefer

The Higgins household had been the scene of ferocious campaigning in recent weeks as rumours of a secret ballot being held reached the children of the family Emily and Josh. Parents Patrick and Nuala had planned to carry out a secret ballot for some time in order to decide once and for all who was… Read more »

Use Of Air Quotes Still The Easiest Way To Spot If Someone’s A Prick

THE EXPERIMENTAL field of pricology has yielded some interesting results thanks to the conclusion of the latest study by the Institute of Studies WWN can exclusively reveal. After closely observing unbearable pricks in their natural habitats lead researchers discovered the common thread running through their behaviour was the shameless use of air quotes. “It has… Read more »