Tag: ireland

New Garda Uniform Bought From Middle Aisle In Aldi

THE PROPOSED new summer uniforms for An Garda Síochána, an unsuitable replacement for the currently unsuitable uniforms, were purchased for next to nothing in Aldi, WWN sources can confirm. The uniforms, which use cutting edge technology to make it look like someone in charge of updating outdated uniforms was keeping busy and is very important,… Read more »

Very Modern Ireland Loudly Tutting At Northern Ireland’s Abortion Laws

THE UK SUPREME Court’s rejection of an appeal from human rights campaigners over Northern Ireland’s abortion laws has given the Yes voting people of Ireland just the 4,567th opportunity to tut dismissively in the direction of Northern Ireland, decrying how it’s a shame it can’t be as astoundingly progressive as the Republic. Very modern, progressive,… Read more »

Guide To Being A Serial Planning Objector

WHETHER it’s a neighbour who really wants to turn his bungalow into a dormer to create extra space for his growing family, or a much-needed revamp of a dilapidated part of town that will bring new economic growth to the area, there’s nothing like somebody applying for planning permission to really bring out your inner… Read more »

Lotto Winner Discovers 47 Cousins He Never Knew He Had

A RECENT Irish winner of a bumper Euromillions jackpot has discovered a double-decker bus full of cousins he was hitherto completely unaware of, WWN can reveal. Michael Drennan’s extended network of cousins, first cousins, second cousins, step cousins and half cousin twice removed made themselves known to the 37-year-old Tramore native in the hours after… Read more »

Ireland Left With Only 657,456 Things To Apologise For

AS President Michael D. Higgins offered words of condolence and apology to an assembled group of Magdalene Laundry survivors in an emotional ceremony in Áras an Uachtarián yesterday, the country went to the book marked ‘Big List Of Things We Have To Apologise For’ to see what was next on the list. Higgins reiterated an… Read more »