Tag: ireland

Government Advises Low Income Earners To Just Become Landlord TDs

AFTER a stunning unveiling of Budget 2019, the government has confirmed that anyone feeling a bit shortchanged by the spending measures outlined should really seriously consider becoming a multi-property owning TD. “Think of all the tax relief. You might be griping about how the budget doesn’t exactly seem fiscally responsible either, spending wise, but our… Read more »

Local Woman’s Attitude Unlikely To Get Her A Husband

THE highfalutin’ and freewheelin’ attitude of Waterford singleton Alice Wilson hasn’t won her the favour of any potential suitors in her hometown, with most people convinced that the 27-year-old is destined ‘for the shelf’. Wilson first came to the attention of her neighbours when she achieved 580 points in her Leaving Cert, thus moving her from… Read more »

“This Is Not An Election Budget” Confirms Taoiseach Day Before Election Budget

TAOISEACH LEO Varadkar has rubbished claims that tomorrow Budget 2019 is an election budget, WWN can confirm. Speaking while handing out ‘Vote Fine Gael’ leaflets at a Dart station in Dublin, the Taoiseach confirmed the budget was merely a sensible and prudent budget that was definitely not full of carrots being dangled before the electorate…. Read more »

Guide To Queuing For A Donut

AS TROUBLING reports continue to emerge from Dublin regarding residents attempting to queue for donuts, WWN has resolved to help guide people in a practice they were clearly unprepared for. Consulting with the preeminent international experts in both queuing and donuts, WWN have been able to create this priceless and clearly much needed guide: 1)… Read more »

Lyons Launch First Tea Making Barista Course

FOLLOWING in the footsteps of coffee, Irish tea blender Lyons have announced a four year tea making course in the hopes of eradicating poorly brewed cups of tea in Ireland, WWN can confirm. The announcement comes just days after a study into tea making revealed that 67% of Irish men and women can’t make a decent cup… Read more »