Tag: ireland

Smug Prick Passes Driving Test On First Go

THERE were bitter scenes this morning at a Waterford office after one man arrived to work with the news that he had passed his driving test that morning on his very first go, much to the annoyance of those who had to take their test multiple times before eventually passing it. Declan O’Malley, 27, was… Read more »

How To Draw The Perfect Penis On Your Ballot Paper

As part of WWN’s extensive coverage of the 2016 general we are addressing the issue of spoiling your vote. Many disgruntled and disillusioned voters will choose to arrive at a polling station today only to spoil their vote. Political commentators see it as a controversial step to take, sighting the act as a slight on… Read more »

Alan Kelly Issued Award For Record Number Of Fuck Ups As A Government Minister

SURPASSING all previous records held by multiple minister in different departments, minister for the environment Alan Kelly was handed an award for record number of fuck ups for a Government minister in an emotional ceremony at Dublin Castle earlier this morning. With endless u-turns and cock ups involving Irish Water, flooding, homelessness and social housing… Read more »

Good News As Dublin Drugs Firm Creates 20 Jobs

WELCOME news on the jobs front as a drugs firm is expanding its operations in the Nation’s capital. The firm’s expansion is a response to the growing demand for a number of its products which has led to the creation of 20 positions in the sales department as well as transport and logistics. “We had a… Read more »

Shops Increase Umbrella Prices By 400%

RETAILERS up and down the country have come in for criticism following their decision to up the prices of umbrellas by a whopping 400% as of this morning. With many parts of the country battered expected to be drenched by torrential rains, the struggling retail sector has sought to capitalise on the public’s need for… Read more »

The Day Ireland Lost Its Innocence

In a sense Ireland’s innocence may well have long since left us but no lurid scandal can hit as hard as when a national treasure mistakenly swears live on air and subsequently apologises for it. Some say we’ll never get over it, others woke up and simply told their bosses ‘not today lad, not today’…. Read more »

Duffy’s Circus To Host Banking Inquiry

Despite the commencement of the banking inquiry some way off, the media storm continues apace as dissenting political voices queue up to share their doubts over its feasibility. The banking inquiry has made steady headlines this last week as the public have been witness to endless twists and turns and ceaseless, selfless politicking. The latest… Read more »

Ireland Makes The Big Switch To Islam

FOLLOWING the publication of a study which has declared Ireland ‘the most Muslim country in the world’, many Irish people are making the big switch to Islam. Ireland, according to this latest study from George Washington University, is the country most faithful to the values of the Koran, putting the already uncertain future of the… Read more »