Tag: ireland

Total Arsehole In Bar Asks For ‘The Usual’

KNOWN locally as a total fucking dose, Waterford man Derek Whilan has yet again entered the pub which he goes to once every three or four weeks and loudly asked the barman for ‘his usual’, leading to an awkward stand-off and the eventual ordering of ‘a pint of Guinness please’. Whilan, who thinks he’s gas,… Read more »

337 Unaccompanied Learner Drivers Seized By Gardaí

THE ROLLING out a new Department of Transport initiative spearheaded by Minister Shane Ross has seen 337 learner drivers driving without an unaccompanied driver seized by gardaí. Previously the cars of unaccompanied drivers were seized but this escalation in learner driving crackdowns will see 337 learner drivers seized and driven to an impound garage on… Read more »

Declan Rice Dumps Ireland Day Before Valentine’s Day

HEARTLESS footballer Declan Rice heartlessly broke the hearts of Ireland today with a heartlessly well-worded and perfectly reasoned if disappointing official statement in which he confirmed he would be dumping the nation the day before Valentine’s Day. Insiders with a closer understanding of Rice’s thinking have confirmed he felt Irish football fans came on way… Read more »