Tag: instant

The Truth Behind The Johnson Argument

THIS PAST weekend saw Tory leadership favourite Boris Johnson being systematically targeted by the gutter press who will stop at nothing in their campaign to just sit back and let him fuck it up all by himself. Before pulling out from the Sky News debate, and long after failing to pull out of any woman… Read more »

WWN’s Weekend Sport Recap

ANOTHER WEEKEND, another action-packed 48 hours filled with sporting delight. WWN was there for every kick of a ball, stride of a leg, puff of cheeks, vomit on side of pitch because you decided to go out the night before and really don’t have the lungs for Sunday league anymore. Catch up with WWN Sports,… Read more »

“I’ll War Next Term, Promise”

DEFENDING his cautious approach to the downing of a military surveillance drone over Iranian waters last week, US President Donald Trump reassured National Security Adviser John Bolton that he will definitely war next term and that he just “isn’t feeling Iran at the moment”. Calling off a military airstrike on Thursday against Iran at the last minute,… Read more »

“When’s Straight Pride?” Asks Local Dose

GREETED with the news that across the world, communities are celebrating Gay Pride, one intrepid idiot has launched a campaign to know why he can’t have a ‘straight pride’. John Kinty (32), known widely as a dose by anyone who has had dealings with him, has demanded to know when he can heterosexually be heterosexual… Read more »

Irish Army Deployed To Narnia

MEMBERS of the Irish Army Rangers have been deployed on a peacekeeping mission to the war-torn land of Narnia, on a tour that is expected to finish up in time for some heartwarming reunion footage at Christmas, WWN can reveal. A wing of the elite fighting unit received Dáil approval to join a UN Force… Read more »

Tory Contest Down To Final Two Incompetents

THE Tory leadership is entering its final, deeply disconcerting and depressing stages as party MPs have selected Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt as the best and final two incompetents that will be tasked with becoming prime minister and further plunging Britain into the nightmare it shows little willingness to wake from. Recent changes to how… Read more »

US Military Suffering From Chronic Case Of Blue Balls

MEDICAL professionals are concerned for the US military which is reportedly suffering from a chronic case of blue balls, owing to the fact they can’t remember the last time ground troops were allowed to empty themselves out all over the territory of a sovereign nation. “It’s worse than I could have ever managed,” explained Dr…. Read more »