Tag: instant

Theresa May Opens Zumba Class

FAR from the frail-looking woman who resigned as prime minister in July, the Theresa May who met WWN outside her newly-opened Zumba dance studio in London today is a fresh-faced, agile lady, with a body covered in sheets of glistening muscle. “I’ve never felt better,” beamed May, drinking from one of those fancy sports water bottles in… Read more »

Local Woman To Become Next Suzanne Jackson After Posting Picture Of Lip Gloss On Instagram

A NEW BEAUTY empire was launched today after local woman Jessica Phelan (22) posted a picture of just her hand holding some lip gloss with the caption ‘can’t live without this. So good and stays on really well.’ on Instagram. While Phelan avoided direct comparisons to SoSueMe head honcho Suzanne Jackson, whose company recently recorded… Read more »

The New Galway Busker Rules Explained

GALWAY City Council has come under fire this week over new busking bylaws which will see street performers regulated like they’re part of some kind of uniformed society that caters for and listens to all aspects of the local community, WWN has learned. Hellbent on creating free flowing movement throughout the city centre, the Council will now dictate when and how buskers… Read more »

Student Going Through Sinn Féin Phase

UCD student Trevor O’Brien is to spend the coming months learning off and adopting the key political ideology of Sinn Féin, in what many people presume is just a phase that every student goes through at some point. “It used to be Labour in my day, but students are wise to them now. I was… Read more »

This Man Unfollowed Gemma O’Doherty And Her Posts Simply Vanished Overnight

AFTER months of endless bickering with right-wing supporters under various Gemma O’Doherty social media posts, Waterford man Conor Whealan has claimed to have found an end all solution to avoiding the former human being’s ongoing tirade. “I unfollowed her and she simply went away,” the astonished 27-year-old explained his ingenious move. “Who’d have thought that something so simple as unfollowing someone… Read more »

Motorcyclist Wearing GoPro To Act Heroically At Some Point

REFORMATTING his GoPro’s mini SD card ahead of his early morning commute, Cork motorcyclist Daniel Rotchford catalogued various different possible scenarios along the way, hoping against hope that this was his day, the day his act of kindness goes viral. “Saved a chick out of a nest last week and the stupid battery went on the camera just as I… Read more »

Government To Ban All Single-Use Plastic Paddies

CLIMATE action minister Richard Bruton is to introduce a ‘radical’ suite of solutions to the ongoing battle against singe-use plastics, including the banning of plastic plates, plastic cutlery, plastic cups, and plastic paddies who proudly wear their Easter Lilies for one night of the year before spending the other 364 being openly critical about Sinn… Read more »