Tag: instant

Mayo Fan Was Diagnosed With Mad Cow Disease 3 Weeks Ago

THE Mayo fan who confronted the referee in the dying moments of Saturday’s All-Ireland football semi-final replay has admitted he was diagnosed with Mad Cow Disease just three weeks ago by doctors. Big Mick Barrett, from Castlebar town, said he could not control himself after referee Cormac Reilly made some controversial calls during the game,… Read more »

Israel Just Gonna Leave Its Stuff Here For A Bit

ISRAEL has announced today that it’s just gonna leave its stuff here for a bit in Gvoat. The Jewish state is believed to be doing some refurbishments at the moment and doesn’t have anywhere else to put it. “Here looks like a great place,” said the country, as it laid down some ‘protective fencing’ around… Read more »

8 Things Only The Baby Of The Family Will Understand

AS part of WWN’s groundbreaking HerDailyEnterJoement series, we bring you the latest in essential lists which provide you, our readers, with a reason to live. 1. Such is the plight of the youngest in the family much of your hand-me-downs resemble clothes, but somehow provide none of the comfort or warmth associated with clothing. They… Read more »

Worrying Increase In The Number Of Children Being Left Behind At Electric Picnic

ORGANISERS at Electric Picnic have voiced concerns today over the alarming number of children being left behind at this years festival. Cleaning up crews have so far located 134 toddlers wandering aimlessly around the Stradbally estate, with the youngest believed to be just 3-years-old. “It’s a lot worse than last year,” said contract cleaner Thomas Wade…. Read more »

Dublin Lad Treated For Tinder Addiction

DUBLIN lad Daniel Griffin finally admitted to his family that he has a problem and needs help, WWN has learned. Daniel (21), like many tech savvy Irish men and women, had installed the matchmaking app Tinder which has long since removed the social stigma surrounding judging people solely on their looks. “I knew I was… Read more »

Planet Not All That Bothered By Kurdish Mans Beheading

ABSOLUTELY everyone was unmoved today by the latest ISIS beheading video of some Kurdish guy in Iraq. News of the video, entitled “A Message in Blood”, failed to bother anyone in the slightest after being posted online several hours after another boring video showing the mass execution of 250 Syrian soldiers in the desert. “What the hell is… Read more »