Tag: instant

Horoscopes

Aries March 21 – April 19 Your Halloween costume dilemma is solved this week when your car careers side-on into a truck. Taurus April 20 – May 20 Star signs are the least of your worries this week. Gemini May 21 – June 20 You will make it till four o clock today before finding… Read more »

Middle-Aged College Student To Spend Majority Of Lecture Asking Stupid Fucking Questions

FIRST YEAR physiology students at Waterford’s Institute of Technology were treated to yet another series of stupid fucking questions today from middle-aged classmate Darren Tobin. Mr. Tobin, who successfully applied to become a mature student in January, began the lecture nervously inquiring about up-coming assignments, much to the absolute disgust of the thirty strong class…. Read more »

Recently Employed Man Enjoys First Wank In New Job

WWN has learned that a new employee at a prominent Dublin accountancy firm has successfully masturbated in the office toilet cubicle for the first time since his appointment to an I.T. role nearly two weeks ago. Rathmines native Daniel Malloy had spent the last fortnight getting to know his way around his new job at… Read more »

Love/Hate Accused Of Glamorising RTÉ

POPULAR crime drama Love/Hate has come under fire from a concerned group of writers and actors who claim the show glamorises RTÉ with its high production values and gripping story-lines. The show, which begins its fifth season on Sunday night, has received widespread critical acclaim for its gritty depiction of gangland crime in Ireland, and… Read more »

The Dark Side Of National Potato Day: Potato Addiction

TODAY marks National Potato Day and while the country rightly celebrates the hardy and versatile food many media outlets choose to ignore the darker side of potatoes in Ireland. PR firms have successfully restored the humble potato’s reputation since the dark days of the famine, but not enough is being done to combat the silent… Read more »

Shops Increase Umbrella Prices By 400%

RETAILERS up and down the country have come in for criticism following their decision to up the prices of umbrellas by a whopping 400% as of this morning. With many parts of the country battered expected to be drenched by torrential rains, the struggling retail sector has sought to capitalise on the public’s need for… Read more »